灰色空间

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

09:06

this 2 months really been a movie month.. and is really relax and enjoying to watch movie in cinema.. i mean the sound and watsoeva effect is different compare to watchin it at home.. let me see wat movies i have been watching.. most recent will be wedding daze... then dark knight, Red Cliff, Get smart, Wanted, 21, What happen in vegas and etc.. can remember much.. but almost every weekend i go for a movie.. wow.. nice ya.. especially have someone by ur side...=) anyway there will be some upcoming flim i like to catch... Money not enough 2 and The Mummy 3... is a must!!! haha.. okie le.. jus to do a small update on my life..

ZhiHao.

22:10

before the day starts, i already a half-dead man.. and eventually i hope to be a full one.. i really cant take all the shits anymore.. perhaps is myself who lead to how terrible my life is.. i cant blame no one but i also dun have the energy to solve all the shits and i really hope the last resort perhaps is to leave it and be a coward... ya.. i am a coward.. i feel helpless and lost in this small world..

okie.. so i am once again awake and open my eyes to face this cruel world.. just got to continue to move on for the time being.. and hell yeah.. i was is this unstable, mindfreak condition which lead to my first accident on the road.. i duno isit becoz of my weak response or becoz of this stupid mother fucker driver who suddenly change its lane that lead to my first stupid accident.. thou is a minor one that jus my front wheel fairing crack.. but my lil bro hurts too. and due to this traumatization.. i fully awake.. i freak out.. and the stupid driver agree no compensation i continue my pain to school... ( what if my accident happen during i ride on expressway?? what if the accident is so serious that i now end up in hospital?? what if i can really leave this stupid world??)

Seriously, how many of us in this world think of dying?? i think there should be quite a number.. that is why when i read newspaper about this NSF case.. i really feel pity and hurt for him.. because of all the fucking problems we guys facing.. that lead to the stupidity.. but if i am him.. i would get the courage of trigger the shot to my head.. once and for all.. Despression~~ is this an excuse or seriously is thisa problem most of us faced?? ya.. i agree man should be strong to tune the mindset to the correct frequency.. but sometime it jus so hard.. and confusing.. grey will be just getting darker.. and the darkness will eventually engulf you and in e end... you will find urself disappear and being eaten up in this dark World..

So in e end.. my time is still not up yet.. and i am able to write this stupid thing online.. i duno how long can i take it.. but i jus feel i getting weaker and weaker every now and then... my mentality is jus not strong.. i duno why.. friends, family is the source of energy... yeah.. i agree... but family is not an option since i know what a problem is... and friends??? my love one has been there for me but think she maybe getting sick enough of me... friends?? so busy that we seldom chat about our problems.. and slowly we are turning into jus eat-drink, hi-bye friends.. is jus unlike how we confess our problems during young days..

Conclusion ----- i hope i never born into this world.... or can let me jus sleep and never wake up anymore...

ZhiHao.

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